Read between the lines.
When you take out the shame from sexuality, you have the freedom to explore.
Your sex, your yoni, is not some kind of prize at the end of a long road, the gold at the end of the rainbow.
It is a masterful creation, a sensory organ with a lot of wisdom inside. It leads you places. It shows you what's true.
That is, if you're healthy, and not sick.
Most people are sick.
Most people have grown up on pornography, or are addicted to it. And most women see their yoni as some sort of danger zone, an area they are afraid to touch, and afraid to know. And they feel like they have lost something, instead of gained something, when they have sex. They also do not know how to own the words "Yes" and "No." They make decisions based on someone else's desire, rather than what they inherently want.
So take an experimental attitude toward your sex life. If you're alone, experiment by yourself. Masturbation is a form of meditation, you know. These practices are one and the same. You can sleep through both. You can be perfunctory. You can check the box.
Or you can consider this form of self-affection a time to discover what is real, to allow truth to be revealed.
What turns you on, when there is no one around? When there is no one you are yearning for?
And what do you imagine, or daydream about, when you have someone in mind? What does sex with that person feel like?
When you're in person with them, does the sex measure up?
Turn off the videos, and settle in. Get curious about your body.
If you want to be a sexy motherfucker, get sexy by knowing yourself, inside and out. Meditate for spiritual wisdom. Masturbate for sexual freedom. And then see where you are led.
Once you can trust your yoni, the root of you, you are so perpetually free. The suffering comes when we don't trust our desire. When our desires are actually someone else's. When our desires are attached to age-old patterns, and tired paradigms that our bodies are property, are beholden to someone else's whims.
It is the utmost in power, darling, to know you don't have to depend on someone else to satisfy you.
Get curious. Close the door. Put on music, or don't. Burn a little sage, a candle. Take your time. Slow, sensual, sacred. Treat this as a holy act. It is one.
The problem is, most people don't know.
But you're here, fortunately, so you have my permission.
Take this opportunity.
Experiment. See how it feels.
If you're sorry, unpack why that is. Let it inform your decisions later. All is forgiven in the end, if you pray to Jesus.
Birth control, condoms? The greatest friggin' things. Use them.